Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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