so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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