I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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