I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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