shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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