I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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