He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
