Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize