Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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