Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
