hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
