This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
