so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
