I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
