i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
