it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
