He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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