sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
