the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
