I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
