UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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