Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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