I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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