college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
