He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
