my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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