Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
