Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
