Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
this will be a night to untag.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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