True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
