that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want her autograph on my taint
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
