He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
