omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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