Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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