the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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