Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize