Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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