didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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