69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
