I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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