she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
