I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
