i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
