So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
