I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
