Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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