Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize