He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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