Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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