It's just like the Real World with babies
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
