the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
