you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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