she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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