you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
