I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
