So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize