party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
