you're like a bully in the Christmas story
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
